"I try to keep myself occupied, Even though I know you're not coming home"

The Hassells are moving at warp speed right now. I can't believe how fast the school year is moving. The kids and I just wrapped up week number seven. Benton and Parker are coming into their own at school. Their personalities are blooming, they are thriving in their classrooms and when I spy on them throughout the day I see lots of smiles. I'm smiling every day at work too. I almost feel like I'm on cruise control this school year. As in I'm not slamming on the brakes and stomping on the accelerator all day long. I'm finding a rhythm to work that I lost last year. Days come and go pretty easy, I feel great about the work I'm doing and I'm having fun.

We are all settling into our daily routines. There are even some mornings I get out of the shower and I find Benton in my chair reading a book. He looks like an old man reading his newspaper before starting his workday. Things are clicking right now for us. But don't get me wrong 3:00-7:00PM each day feels absolutely nuts. I need two more arms and an extra hour to get everything done. I feel like I'm cooking for one most days because the kids refuse to eat regular people food. So I'm eating lots of the same thing for lunch each day and the kids are eating lots of apples for dinner. There are lots of little beautiful moments that I look forward to each afternoon/evening though. Parker is quickly learning to read and is determined to make sure that we get her twenty minutes of reading in each night (she is a much better student than I was). She has been checking out books from the library that oddly enough match the interest of a little boy in her class. So we just finished an incredibly detailed book about an asteroid that struck earth sixty five million years ago. I actually learned a ton.

When we were having dinner the other night Parker asked me "Is it hard taking care of us without mommy?". That led to an awesome conversation with both kids about how we are all in this together and that I need their help every single day. Parker continues to question and probe in her own way. Benton has been so thoughtful with some of the conversations and ways that I have watched him be a big brother in the last month or so. Guiding, protecting and being selfless. He has such a big heart. So while the kids make things crazy in the afternoon they seem to find a way to keep me grounded and present.

We all went to Bend last weekend and hung out with Eric, Stephanie and their three children. Their family has become a part of our family over the last fifteen years or so. Jordan and I walked side by side with them through college, marriage, having children, moving across the country and Jordan's cancer. Our children all look strangely alike and get along great. Whenever we get together it is a big mess. A big comfortable and heartwarming mess. There is an Eddie Vedder lyric "Yeah I'm a lucky man, To count on both hands, The ones I love, Some folks just have one, Yeah others they got none". Eric and Stephanie would get two of my fingers if I had to count to ten.

The thing I love and value most about our friendship is that is full of honesty and transparency. We have argued, we have cried, we have laughed and we have seen the ugly in each other. And we keep showing up and loving on each other with grace. In that, we have all got to watch each other grow in incredible ways.

Eric and Stephanie started a podcast a few months ago and they invited me to be their first guest. So last weekend I piled into their studio (a closet) and we did what we have been doing for the last fifteen years. We had an honest conversation about what the last year or so has meant for all of our lives. I invite you to listen along here. My hope is that it might inspire you to join the conversation. The conversation of what it looks like to live a life of transparency and to meet each moment fully by "showing up naked".

If you like the episode please check out some of the other episodes and take a brief moment to leave them a review.

-Brack

Awkward school picture...

Most awkwardest school picture...

Parker went on a date. No comment.

"If I had a superpower it would be to heal anything."

I might be 35 and owning an iron for the first time. Thankfully I have neighbors that like to help. 

Hard to concentrate on the neighborhood kickball game when this is your view.

The driveway frequently turns into an art gallery.

I Recently got out for an overnight paddleboarding trip with a buddy.

Being on the mighty Columbia is a gorgeous and humbling experience.

My $650 Subaru is still kicking and going on all kinds of adventures.

Just a normal gorgeous fall day in Parkdale.

Pumpkin Patching it up!

Benton busting out his slackline skills.

Bend, beer and good company. A perfect Saturday night!

A dress and a down jacket. How you dress if you are a cute girl in Oregon.